My Personal Blog
The My Personal Blog section of Lavenderosy shares real-life experiences, personal stories, and honest reflections. This space is dedicated to lessons learned from mistakes, emotional strength, self-growth, and staying hopeful and independent through life’s challenges, failures, and new beginnings.
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The Sky: A Childhood Curiosity That Never Left Me
Since childhood, I’ve been deeply drawn to the sky. Every time I looked up, it stirred something restless and beautiful within me—a quiet urge to understand it.Why is the sky blue?What lies above it?And above that?Is there an endpoint to the sky at all? These questions would constantly move through my mind, layering one over the other. As a child, I never found their answers. Growing up, science did explain many of them—logically, factually. But on a spiritual level, I believe I’m still standing between those same questions, still searching, still wondering. No matter the time of day—morning, afternoon, evening, or night—whenever I looked at the sky, I felt an…
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The Fear I Carried as a Little Girl: A Truth Many Women Still Live With
Today, I want to share something deeply personal with you.The fear carried as a little girl doesn’t disappear with age—it quietly shapes how many women grow up and see the world. A fear from my childhood—one that, even today, has not completely left my life. And I know I’m not alone. Many girls carry this same fear silently, growing up with it, learning to live around it. This story takes me back to when I was about 10–11 years old. There were many evenings when we would be cooking dinner and suddenly realise that some kitchen item was missing. There was no phone at home at that time. If we…
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Finding That Soul: A Deep Inner Journey Beyond Material Desires
Finding that soul is not about searching outside—it’s about turning inward and reconnecting with what truly feels meaningful. In a world driven by achievements and material desires, this deep inner journey invites us to pause, reflect, and rediscover emotional fulfillment beyond possessions. Since childhood, I’ve never been drawn toward material goals the same way many people are. When someone asked me, “What do you want out of life?” I never found myself craving wealth, status, or possessions. Instead, there was this quiet feeling — something deeper, something unexplainable: a sense of waiting… as if I was searching for someone. Not someone useful, or helpful, or convenient — but someone whose…
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Who I Was — Curious, Calm, and Determined
Growing up as a middle child, I was always eager to be loved — innocent, playful, and full of curiosity. I had a soft and calm nature, but deep inside, I was always aware of myself and determined. Even when life challenged me, I stood up for my peace and grounded myself with certainty. Who I was—curious, calm, and determined— is a reflection on identity, growth, and the quiet strength that often gets lost along the way. This personal journey looks inward to reconnect with a version of the self shaped by clarity, resilience, and emotional balance. I didn’t like owing people anything, and from a young age, I felt…
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Missing My Mother Today: A Daughter’s Silent Grief That Never Leaves
Today, my heart feels heavy.I find myself missing my mother. She is no longer physically with me, yet her presence surrounds me in ways words cannot fully explain. I still feel her—in my thoughts, in my habits, in the way I respond to life. It is as if she never truly left. The pain she went through lives quietly in my heart. I often wonder whether all the suffering she endured was something she truly deserved or not. But if anyone ever asks me to judge her life or her choices, my answer will always be no. I will not allow that. Because I saw her.I observed her closely.I understood…
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A Peaceful Evening I Still Carry Within Me
Missing my mother often brings back a peaceful evening from the past, one that still lives quietly within me. There was a time when summers felt alive — not rushed, not heavy, just full of quiet energy.From March to August, the climate itself felt different: clear skies, warm sunlight, calm winds, and a softness that touched the heart before the skin. I would return from school around 2 p.m.My mother would already be waiting, food warm, made with love — the kind of food that doesn’t just fill your stomach, it comforts you. After that, if there was any homework, I finished it quickly. And then, exactly at 4 p.m.,…
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A Mother’s Smile Was My First Understanding of Love
“A mother’s smile first understanding of love came to me before I could even speak — it was gentle, warm, and full of meaning.” When I was a young child, around five or six years old, being the middle child often made me crave love and attention. That need, however, was never left unfulfilled—because my mother wrapped me in her love in ways that felt quiet, constant, and real. I spent much of my childhood helping her with household work. Somehow, even at that age, I wished I could free her from the weight of it all. I wanted her to rest, to breathe, to live without tiredness. When the…
